Alright...I think I had totally psyched myself up for the 10th or 11th and now...nothing. Contractions are the same as they've been since November...actually, even less intense than when I've gone in the few times!
Last night, the 10th, I had a melt down...a full on, Kindlee-style melt down...it was horrible and wonderful at the same time. It was a GREAT release of emotion...it feels great to just let your body sob and throw itself about. However, my lungs and throat were so sore from crying that hard and using so much air...it was intense...I'm pretty sure Chad was considering committing me...until he started to laugh at me... I was upset that nothing was happening...I know, I know...the intellectual side was like, "Are you KIDDING me?!?! Your due date isn't even until the 28th...you were on bed rest, but that doesn't mean ANYTHING...get a grip." The emotional side was in upheaval...how could this be happening to me?! I'd been praying, drinking my tea, walking, eating spicy foods...ALL the pieces had been done to put me into labor, and nothing. These dates are perfect for having the baby...the kids are out of town, having a blast, taken care of, and coming back in a few days...the timing was perfect...yet nothing. So after my tantrum I headed for the bath and gave myself a talking to...and prayed...A LOT
Today I was a little better, until I went out and about...I know that a lot of people ask "Haven't you had that baby yet" and they are kidding...other people are not. Regardless...at this stage of the game, its not what I need to hear....there are two primary reasons:
1. I'm already discouraged and that question makes it worse.
2. I'm not even due until the 28th...so back off.
So, I got a fair # of those... and started to lose my "zen-like" state...I was so thankful that I met up with Nancy who does treatments and helps clear blockages...she gave me some words to focus on and they have made all the different this late afternoon/evening. The words I"m focusing on are:
* devotion
* trust
* true
* birth
When I repeat them to myself or focus on their meaning its incredibly calming and I am so thankful that we met up today and she could assist me...I needed it, badly!
For the next few days, while the kids are gone, I'm going to focus on getting their photos organized and updating their journals...I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow and am going to bring my Birth Plan and will hope for a GREAT appointment where he says I"m making LOADS of progress. ;)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Officially Going off Bedrest
So, Chad comes home tomorrow and I'm 'truly' off bedrest...I know it might seem like I have bene for awhile, and in a lot of ways I haven't limited myself, but in a lot of ways I have...I sit down and rest when I start to feel contractions, I don't let myself get too tired, my pelvis has had complete rest, and I haven't even LET myself think about having the baby...but tomorrow...game ON.
I'm feeling excited...the little bit of freedom lately has been exhilarating and I'm looking forward to being totally free. At the same time, I feel anxious...what if the baby doesn't come right away? What if it does? Are people going to be in my face about it? Can I deal with that? Do I even want to?
To top it off...I miss the other three kids...they have been gone for 4 days...and I miss them terribly...I've enjoyed getting a lot done, but I'm so used to have them afoot...it is hard to be apart this long.
I guess the only thing to do is to pray, and let time tell us what is going to happen next.
I'm feeling excited...the little bit of freedom lately has been exhilarating and I'm looking forward to being totally free. At the same time, I feel anxious...what if the baby doesn't come right away? What if it does? Are people going to be in my face about it? Can I deal with that? Do I even want to?
To top it off...I miss the other three kids...they have been gone for 4 days...and I miss them terribly...I've enjoyed getting a lot done, but I'm so used to have them afoot...it is hard to be apart this long.
I guess the only thing to do is to pray, and let time tell us what is going to happen next.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Non-Bed Rest Appointment #7--February 5, 2010
I had to add that it was a "non-bed rest"appointment! I was able to drive myself there...although, due to the snow and little old-lady drivers I was about an hour late...grrr...
the appointmetn did go well, however...I am measuring 36 cm, BP was up a bit, and baby is at 154 bpm...I weighed 173 lbs...up eight lbs!!! He checked and nothing too major to report...still soft, still effaced, still dialated...in his words, "Not much different that how you've been all along." I could have punched him! The other piece I hadn't realized was that I might not have him as the person delivering my baby...I hadn't realized that before! He shared that if he's not the on-call someone else will deliver my baby. I'm sure it will be fine, but still caught me off guard.
After my appointment I took my time around Brainerd...I went to my favorite stores, shopped for clothes/shoes with my Bday money, and just took the time I wanted to do what I wanted...it was awesome. I still made it home around supper time and just spent the evening working on whatever I wanted. Awesome.
the appointmetn did go well, however...I am measuring 36 cm, BP was up a bit, and baby is at 154 bpm...I weighed 173 lbs...up eight lbs!!! He checked and nothing too major to report...still soft, still effaced, still dialated...in his words, "Not much different that how you've been all along." I could have punched him! The other piece I hadn't realized was that I might not have him as the person delivering my baby...I hadn't realized that before! He shared that if he's not the on-call someone else will deliver my baby. I'm sure it will be fine, but still caught me off guard.
After my appointment I took my time around Brainerd...I went to my favorite stores, shopped for clothes/shoes with my Bday money, and just took the time I wanted to do what I wanted...it was awesome. I still made it home around supper time and just spent the evening working on whatever I wanted. Awesome.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
February 1-4, 2010
Chad headed out on the 1st for his trip...the kids and I had one evening alone and did great...I also told them about their trip to Minot on Thursday and they were PSYCHED!! In the meantime, G'ma Linda was coming...which definitely helped to pass the time!
On Tuesday, the 2nd, I got my pregnancy photos done while Mom stayed with the kids. I also had a Board meeting and it was so fun to be able to just GO...I could drive myself AND had someone to watch the kids...being off bedrest AND having my Mom here pretty much rocked my world!
Wednesday, the 3rd, I had Release Time...again, Mom here to help out...awesome. I had a lunch with Jennifer, PM RT, and then picked up Lydia and took her to the Dr. to find out she had a double ear infection...brought her home, and was able to go get the prescription by myself...oh, the power of it all!!! They made their Valentine's with G'ma, we had a movie night, and I got everything packed/loaded into the car for the next day.
Thursday we were up early and they were on the road by 8:30...it was tough to see them go, but my Mom is so great and emailed me right after she dropped them with Chad's Mom/Sister and assured me that they were fine. It was strange to be totally alone at the house AND be able to do what I wanted in terms of cleaning, etc. I spent most of Thursday just working on the computer, though, for work...and took a brief trip up to see Erin and get my bearings after the kids left.
On Tuesday, the 2nd, I got my pregnancy photos done while Mom stayed with the kids. I also had a Board meeting and it was so fun to be able to just GO...I could drive myself AND had someone to watch the kids...being off bedrest AND having my Mom here pretty much rocked my world!
Wednesday, the 3rd, I had Release Time...again, Mom here to help out...awesome. I had a lunch with Jennifer, PM RT, and then picked up Lydia and took her to the Dr. to find out she had a double ear infection...brought her home, and was able to go get the prescription by myself...oh, the power of it all!!! They made their Valentine's with G'ma, we had a movie night, and I got everything packed/loaded into the car for the next day.
Thursday we were up early and they were on the road by 8:30...it was tough to see them go, but my Mom is so great and emailed me right after she dropped them with Chad's Mom/Sister and assured me that they were fine. It was strange to be totally alone at the house AND be able to do what I wanted in terms of cleaning, etc. I spent most of Thursday just working on the computer, though, for work...and took a brief trip up to see Erin and get my bearings after the kids left.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Jauary 27-31, 2010--36 Weeks
During this time period we had activities, meals, visits from Hope, Katy/Annika, skyping, Kindlee with Jane, Quinn having asthma issues, swimming at the pool, Quinn's 2nd week of Basketball, and me hitting 36 weeks!
We would like to wait until later in Feb. to have the baby so that Chad is home/around, but to make it to 36 weeks gives us such a THRILL...health-wise statistics show that the baby would be fine if born now, so we are super happy. I'm definitely going OFF the medicine, but will continue to take it easy to keep labor at bay (per my husband's request!).
We would like to wait until later in Feb. to have the baby so that Chad is home/around, but to make it to 36 weeks gives us such a THRILL...health-wise statistics show that the baby would be fine if born now, so we are super happy. I'm definitely going OFF the medicine, but will continue to take it easy to keep labor at bay (per my husband's request!).
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Bed Rest Appointment #6--January 26, 2010
You'll notice there was a two-week gap since the last Dr. appointment...after I had the last negative FfN was like...NO WAY am I coming back in a week...so Dr. DL consented to having it be in two weeks...I was super thankful for the break!
I was up to 172 lbs....hooray for 7 lbs!!!...BP 120/72 (higher for me)...36 cm fundal height...149 bpm for baby. We had lunch, a Menards run, then home.
I had made everyone finish their squares for the Baby's quilt, so I was thrilled finish that today...I even washed and dried it to is was ready to go!
Phil and Darcey are in Jamaica, so Chad went to spend the night with Matt so he doesn't have to be alone...I LOVE sleeping without anyone snoring beside me! Now, if I could just do away with the incessant need to use the restroom..... :)
I was up to 172 lbs....hooray for 7 lbs!!!...BP 120/72 (higher for me)...36 cm fundal height...149 bpm for baby. We had lunch, a Menards run, then home.
I had made everyone finish their squares for the Baby's quilt, so I was thrilled finish that today...I even washed and dried it to is was ready to go!
Phil and Darcey are in Jamaica, so Chad went to spend the night with Matt so he doesn't have to be alone...I LOVE sleeping without anyone snoring beside me! Now, if I could just do away with the incessant need to use the restroom..... :)
Monday, January 25, 2010
January 14-25, 2010
This time was full of Lydia's Birthday, Chad being gone, two visits from G'ma Linda, one visit from cousin Kasen, sick kids, Release Time day, activities, kids' haircuts (Lydia's first), skyping with family, and the MANY other activities that having three kids entails...as much as I sometimes would like to have this *HEALTHY* baby sooner, rather than later...I do recognize that having it still inside me, even with bedrest, is easier than juggling four children! Thankfully we love our kids TOO much and enjoy them even with their craziness!
One of the most fun things that we did during this time was go to Larsen's for a football playoff game...it was so fun to go out and spend time with Darcey, Phil, and their boys. I could honestly talk to Darcey for days...and she and I spent the entire time working out the baby's quilt....the girls and I decided on the 23rd that we should make a quilt for the baby, so Darcey and I worked on the design...it was so fun!
One of the most fun things that we did during this time was go to Larsen's for a football playoff game...it was so fun to go out and spend time with Darcey, Phil, and their boys. I could honestly talk to Darcey for days...and she and I spent the entire time working out the baby's quilt....the girls and I decided on the 23rd that we should make a quilt for the baby, so Darcey and I worked on the design...it was so fun!
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